Thursday, October 30, 2008

I've won, I've won!

I guess you could say I won. Well, at least I've been given an award. But I also have to do something. So, really I haven't won anything, have I? I just have to do something because Jane disguised it as an award. Very tricky, that woman. And she didn't even award it to me first! She awarded it to Kat. I guess that's because she's such a diva and I'm not.

Anyway, here's what I'm supposed to do and then I'll "award" 6 others with the same thingy:

List 6 things that I love then pass the award onto (along with the rules) 6 blogs that I love!

Here goes (would be easier if I could list 6 things that I hate, but we're not going to be negative today, now are we June?)

  1. Ward, Wally & the Beaver (does that count as 3? this is gonna be easier than I thought) Seriously everyone else didn't name their family. They said besides their family....., or obviously their family...., etc. I'm not going to go that route. Besides giving me endless material to use for my blog, they really do complete my life. I could not imagine my life without any of them! (as of today that is. ask me tomorrow, that could change......they are all males, you know)

  2. Food - I love all things food! Cooking, trying recipes, looking at recipes, buying cooking magazines, looking at cooking blogs, watching cooking shows, wishing I got paid to cook, etc. I love touching it and shopping for it. I went to Trader Joe's for the first time and I think I touched everything in the store. Have you heard of Food Buzz? It's my drug of choice these days and I can't stop clicking on it!

  3. Sunday afternoon naps in my hammock. When the breeze is blowing and making the hammock swing, if you close your eyes it's almost like you're on vacation - except that you have to make dinner in about a half hour! Oh, and fold the laundry, but anyway.....

  4. Blogging. Love it, love it, love it! I have met some amazingly talented and funny women while blogging. And intelligent? Geez are they ever smart! If I can't find someone to pay me to cook for them, I'd love it if someone would pay me to read blogs! Then I could quite the lovely world of real estate and insurance.

  5. Thanksgiving. I mean food and family and I don't have to buy anyone a present! What could be better than that?

  6. This woman. She had me laughing so hard yesterday and crying today. Go read for yourself. You'll love her, too. You can't help but love her. She won't be here this Thanksgiving. She'll be off in Italy. Guess I'll have to take up the slack and drink her share of wine on Thanksgiving!
Ok, so now for the last part. Tagging 6 other "Kreativ" blogs that I love. If I've ever left a comment on your blog - consider yourself tagged and loved BY ME! Lucky you!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Being Married to June

18 years of marriage. I've officially been married to Ward for 18 whole years. I was going to go all mushy over Ward, kinda like I did last year, but decided it was time for him to go all gushy over me. You know, since it's my blog and all. I suspect, that if you ask Ward what this past 18 years has been like, this is what he would say:

Don't get her pregnant. She'll put you in a headlock! When she was in labor with Wally, she whispered something to me but I couldn't hear her. As I bent closer to see what she needed, she put me in a headlock. Through clenched teeth she told me if I ever did this to her again, she would kill me!

She believes there are still wild cows out there. Don't laugh. She honestly believes this. We were traveling one time and she made the remark "Look Ward, there's wild cows over there." She thought that since there were no barns or a house around, the cows were wild. "You really think all of the cows have been captured", she told me! She still thinks this. And there's no convincing her otherwise.

She spends 90% of her mornings, ass-end up, digging for matching shoes at the bottom of her closet. Organization is not one of her strong suites.

There was a time when, if you ticked her off, she would go days without talking to you - or even looking at you. I think she learned this tactic from her mother. Thank God she doesn't do that anymore.

Why have I stayed married to her for 18 years? Well, she's cheaper than getting a nanny or a housekeeper. Even though she isn't organized, she keeps the rest of us on track. She buys at least 14 of the same item - always forgetting she has the same thing at home already. Have you seen our pantry? But she's a pretty decent cook! She's great at washing and drying our clothes. Not so great at folding and putting them away, but she tries. She does dust, but doesn't like to move anything when she dusts. She uses a sort of "dust around" technique. And she sort of does this snorting thing when she laughs too hard. And well, I guess I sorta love her, too."

Ok, so Ward isn't the gushy type. But he loves me. I know he does. And really that's all that matters anyway. Right?

18 years......wowza!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Coming out of the closet

I'm off today.  My personal day.  That means I get to personally do whatever I like I have a to-do list of things I have to get done today.  The first two things I have to do in order to keep social services from coming and taking my children away from me. 


Exhibits  A & BPICT0022






Disgusting, I know.  And yet, I still put these out there.  On the web.  For the whole world to see.   See, I told you, I'm no June Cleaver.  I'm pretty sure June's fridge never looked like this!


And then there's this:



I know.  You're saying, "You actually feed Wally and the Beaver food from this mess?"  And sadly, the answer is, "Yes, I do." But, in my defense, I don't feed them from the two boxes of Krispy Kremes that are on the top shelf, of the bottom, left side of the pantry.  No, I bought those over a month ago.  What kind of mother would I be if I fed my kids krusty krispy kremes? I am a closet slob.  I admit it.  But today, I'm going to get these things in order.  So you won't look down on me. (I was going to show you a picture of my bedroom closet, but decided against that. Really we don't have to sink that low,  now do we? It's pretty bad.  But it would take several days of "personal days" to get that in order!)


I am also going to go and pay those cranky bitches lovely ladies at the DMV a visit and register this:


This is our third vehicle.  This is the vehicle you get when you have two vehicles, that are on their last wheels, and you have 3 - about to be 4 - drivers in your household.  AND you can not afford to trade in one of the older vehicles and take on a car payment.  This is dependable, newer and it runs!  And it's paid for!  It's the stand by.  That's what I call it.  It's the vehicle we'll use if when the car or the truck break down. There's a little disagreement between Ward and I as to what this car is.  He thinks it's for Beaver to use when he gets his license.  I know, Ward doesn't really grasp the whole parenting thing sometimes.  You don't give Wally the old truck to drive when he gets his license and then give Beaver (aka "No Fear" of speeding) a Mustang when he gets his license.  Good idea Ward.  I may get our kids taken away for my lack of domestic skills, but you've just proven Wally's theory that you love Beaver more and he gets everything!  Smooth move, dude. 


So......anyway.  Before I started on my to-do's I thought I would just go online for a minute and check on everyone.  And I landed on this. 


PICT0026 PICT0028

That's my name up there on Jane's blog.   (In second place, behind Kat, but anyway)  She named me!  Little 'ole me.  She loves me.  She really loves me.  And now, instead of doing the things on my to-do list, and at the risk of losing my children - because I'm such a closet slob - I have to come up with 6 things I love and tag 6 people.  Oh, the pressure Jane!  But she said I could put two little thingys on my sidebar.  So I had to look at her side bar.  And I got sidetracked! She follows tons of great blogs.  You people really need to stop putting those lists on your side bar!  I get sucked in trying to see who those people are and I landed on this one:



This chick is funny!!! I'm sidetracked, behind schedule, probably going to lose my boys and now I have to come up with 6 things.  I mean what kind of person would I be if I waited until tomorrow, when I was at my job, and did this?  What would happen?  I tell you what would happen.  Jane would replace my happy ass with someone like Pioneer Woman faster than you can say "I love June Cleaver and want to be just like her!"  So......if she replaces me, because the 6 list will have to wait until tomorrow, please remember, at one time, Jane loved my blog!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Testing, 1, 2, 3

I'm trying to see if Live Writer will post to my blog on blogger. Here we go......

Thursday, October 23, 2008

June's about ready to hang herself by her pearls!

I'm losin' it. No really. This time, I'm really losing it. I've pretty much given in to the fact that I will be suffering from permanent PMS until Wally graduates. Bouts of crying. Flying off the handle for no good reason. Happiness. Pride and then absolute sadness. Coupled with the "normal" madness of the Cleaver household. Where the hell's my damned pearls......Wine, anyone? far on the to-do list, we have to work the enchilada basketball fundraising supper (say that 3 times fast after a couple of glasses o' wine) at 5, before the last home football game on Friday nite. Dad and Bonus Mom are coming to town to see the game. Need to remind Wally to wash his sheets for his grandparents. Scratch that. Need to wash the sheets myself. Otherwise we run the risk of said sheets still being in the washing machine as the Grandparents are ready to go to bed. Also have to call around and beg parents to work the supper to help with fundraising for their children. That should be easy. Yeah right. It's the same parents every time that help out. Problem is, this last home game is senior night. Yes, more tears for June. This is where you walk with your son on the football field while they announce you, your son and what he plans to - boooooo-hoooooo - sorry, sniffle, sniffle.......what his future plans are. The parents that typically help out with the fundraisers, their sons are also seniors, so they need to leave early to get lined up for senior night. That means there won't be anyone at the enchilada supper to pass out plates. It's ok. I figure I can re-route the pickup line to the football field and pass out styrofoam containers of enchiladas as I'm walking out with Wally. You know, kill two birds with one stone!

Yesterday afternoon as I was calling and begging people to help, my neighbors daughters best friends mother called me. (I know there's supposed to be some apostrophes before or after some of those "s", but I dont' know where. So, I just left them off. ON PURPOSE. I don't need your help telling me where they go, because I'll just forget again. Sorry. It's the PMS again) The best friends are having their birthday party together and requested that I make their cake. She threw all kinds of compliments at me and asked me if I would make it. Of course I will. When is the party? Saturday? As in this Saturday? You can do this June! You don't want to disappoint those girls. And after all those compliments on how beautiful your cakes there's the whole phallic guitar incident (yeah Jane, I saw your comment) that you have to overcome. Ok, I'll do it. What kind would they like? Oh it's a Halloween party, so anything that fits that theme will be fine. Easy enough! Chocolate cake. Couple of tombstones, plastic skeleton coming out of grave of crushed oreos and I'm home free!

Making supper last night while simultaneously calling the rest of the deadbeat parents on my list and I get another call. From the best friends mother. Seems the girls would like a Frankenstein cake. Shit. I know what's going to happen now. I'll scour the internet for Frankenstein cake photos. It'll have to be something good. Not just any round Frankenstein cake face. No, I'll find something that doesn't look too difficult and end up royally screwing it up. This should be fun!

Oh, and before we walk out on the field tomorrow night, we have to speak to the camera. They film the boys during the football season and then give them a DVD at the end. They personalize the DVD's for each boy with their parents saying something to them at the beginning. Where the hell's my tissues? I'll come up with something very heartwarming, but Wally won't be able to understand a word I'm saying I'll be sniffling the whole time and Ward will step in and try and help. But with my permanent PMS trip that I'm on, that will only piss me off and I'll fly off the handle. Surely it will truly capture Wally's parents in their most shining moment! Poor Wally.

Somebody hand me my wine. And my pearls, too, just in case..........

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Having a "senior moment".....

Usually, a senior moment refers to someone forgetting something. Which would be the usual way to describe me. Always forgetting something. But this time, the senior moment is about my senior, Wally. I've been having a lot of senior moments lately. Usually they make me tear up. This week the "mothers" got together to come up with the tribute page for the yearbook. Yearbooks have changed since the last one that I was in was over, oh a couple of decades ago! My parents got off so easy. Now you don't just pay for your senior to have their photo taken and then put in the yearbook, now you also have to purchase a page, or part of one, to "honor" them. If you don't do this, I think they paint your name on the bathroom stall and call you a slut or something. Like the yearbooks, this may have changed as well. Maybe "slut" isn't what they use anymore. But anyway, June Cleaver is not going to have her name painted all over the bathroom stalls. I'm getting that "Mother of the Year" award dammit! So.....Sunday night the "mothers" got together to do our tribute page. Lots of looking back through old photos. Trying to find the right words to tell our boys how much they mean to us. Lots of "where has the time gone". Lots of senior moments. And beer. Which made the senior moments seem even more tearier (If that's a word. If not, it's my blog, so get over it).

So, here's the objects of our senior moments. These eight boys have been friends for years. In addition to honoring them individually, we got together to do a whole page to them. (Whoever said "Kids are priceless" never had a senior. They are quite pricey!) I know I am a little biased, but they are the best kids. Smart, funny, talented, hardworking, respectful, handsome - you name it, and these kids got it!
(click the photo to see it full size)

(Did you click the photo? You really should. Trust me, to get the full effect of how awesome these kids are you need to see them in the "big" picture!)