Monday, October 27, 2008

Coming out of the closet

I'm off today.  My personal day.  That means I get to personally do whatever I like I have a to-do list of things I have to get done today.  The first two things I have to do in order to keep social services from coming and taking my children away from me. 

 

Exhibits  A & BPICT0022

 

 

 

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Disgusting, I know.  And yet, I still put these out there.  On the web.  For the whole world to see.   See, I told you, I'm no June Cleaver.  I'm pretty sure June's fridge never looked like this!

 

And then there's this:

 

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I know.  You're saying, "You actually feed Wally and the Beaver food from this mess?"  And sadly, the answer is, "Yes, I do." But, in my defense, I don't feed them from the two boxes of Krispy Kremes that are on the top shelf, of the bottom, left side of the pantry.  No, I bought those over a month ago.  What kind of mother would I be if I fed my kids krusty krispy kremes? I am a closet slob.  I admit it.  But today, I'm going to get these things in order.  So you won't look down on me. (I was going to show you a picture of my bedroom closet, but decided against that. Really we don't have to sink that low,  now do we? It's pretty bad.  But it would take several days of "personal days" to get that in order!)

 

I am also going to go and pay those cranky bitches lovely ladies at the DMV a visit and register this:

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This is our third vehicle.  This is the vehicle you get when you have two vehicles, that are on their last wheels, and you have 3 - about to be 4 - drivers in your household.  AND you can not afford to trade in one of the older vehicles and take on a car payment.  This is dependable, newer and it runs!  And it's paid for!  It's the stand by.  That's what I call it.  It's the vehicle we'll use if when the car or the truck break down. There's a little disagreement between Ward and I as to what this car is.  He thinks it's for Beaver to use when he gets his license.  I know, Ward doesn't really grasp the whole parenting thing sometimes.  You don't give Wally the old truck to drive when he gets his license and then give Beaver (aka "No Fear" of speeding) a Mustang when he gets his license.  Good idea Ward.  I may get our kids taken away for my lack of domestic skills, but you've just proven Wally's theory that you love Beaver more and he gets everything! Way.to.go.  Smooth move, dude. 

 

So......anyway.  Before I started on my to-do's I thought I would just go online for a minute and check on everyone.  And I landed on this. 

 

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That's my name up there on Jane's blog.   (In second place, behind Kat, but anyway)  She named me!  Little 'ole me.  She loves me.  She really loves me.  And now, instead of doing the things on my to-do list, and at the risk of losing my children - because I'm such a closet slob - I have to come up with 6 things I love and tag 6 people.  Oh, the pressure Jane!  But she said I could put two little thingys on my sidebar.  So I had to look at her side bar.  And I got sidetracked! She follows tons of great blogs.  You people really need to stop putting those lists on your side bar!  I get sucked in trying to see who those people are and I landed on this one:

 

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This chick is funny!!! 

 

So.......now I'm sidetracked, behind schedule, probably going to lose my boys and now I have to come up with 6 things.  I mean what kind of person would I be if I waited until tomorrow, when I was at my job, and did this?  What would happen?  I tell you what would happen.  Jane would replace my happy ass with someone like Pioneer Woman faster than you can say "I love June Cleaver and want to be just like her!"  So......if she replaces me, because the 6 list will have to wait until tomorrow, please remember, at one time, Jane loved my blog!

7 comments:

jill said...

hahahaha.....at least there's food in your fridge and cupboards....ours always shocks people because they are pretty empty. (our pantry is in the garage and our garden provides daily stuff)

i've pretty much spent my morning getting side-tracked with you....those "not to be missed" lists are soooooo much fun.

anyways...yea for Jane loving your blog! have a fantastical day!

Jane! said...

You are SUCH a domestic disaster wannabe! If I were at home I would send you a pi of a REAL slacker's fridge. The fact that you have TWO veggie drawers and neither appears to contain anything brown or slimy gives you away.
And here's a tip for dealing with Ward... because I LOVE you. Have him get the insurance quote for a 16-year-old boy to drive a Mustang.

Kat said...

Nanner, Nanner, Nanner - I'm # ONE! Yep, ME, not YOU! Muwahahahaha!

Now what am I supposed to do?

PS - Why in the Hell do you keep going to Hellmart if you have THAT much food in your fridge and pantry?

Jenn said...

I am a slob like that, too--only I'm not so much in the closet about it.

Jenn said...

Oh, and also, it makes me feel much better that you posted these pics because that means I am not alone! Yes!

Becca said...

Good morning! At least you weren't me..we spent the last couple of days redoing our home office. Then my computer bit it..but Mitch fixed it!

Lucky Wife said...

OK so it's been 3 days now I we haven't seen your lst of three things yet... hmm?

Also, to answer Kat's question wondering why you keep going to walmart, is because if you are like me 2/3 of the contents aren't edible.

Lastly, now that you are one of the cool kids over here on blogger, are you still gonna wave to your original nerd friends from spaces, or point and laugh with your new friends when we pass in the hall? hmmmm...

Lucky Wife