Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Note to self

Next time you decide to wear your "really cute black slacks", because they make your butt look slimmer, remember to apply lots of lotion to your arms that day. That elbow dandruff that has rubbed off onto your pants from resting your arms on your desk, is really unattractive. And for heaven's sakes, do a quick rearview check when you leave the restroom. Your underwear tag peeking out of the top of your britches is equally unattractive. And no, everyone looking at you wasn't secretly thinking "Has she lost weight?" They were trying to figure out what the heck all the white stuff was on the front of your pants!! Way to go, sister.......

Another note to self.........STFU, already!! I know there are only 8 more shopping days left. Thankyouverymuch.

Wine, anyone?

13 comments:

Tracie said...

I was actually wondering if you had lost weight or not. LOL!!

Elbow dandruff--seriously??

BBB said...

I bought a new pair of black slacks and I love them because they are SO comfortable, but they pick up EVERY swinging piece of lint in the universe!! ARRRGGGHH! So I know what you mean.

Yeah. I don't need any reminders about Christmas either. I am SO far behind. Hit me with some wine!!

Kat said...

My favorite pair of black pants pick up everything except good looking men...

K said...

As a note to myself (unfortunately relevant the other day ) - watch those darn panty lines. - They get me all the time - yuck.

Happy shopping.

Pat said...

Elbow lint? never heard of that before, I will have to check my elbows, because I sit at a desk everyday?? OMG I have elbow lint!!!
Anyway take your time chill and with that wine you should pull it off as I know you will. God Bless
Hugs, Pat

Jane! said...

Sounds like you need to do some serious exfoliation on those forearms, Honey. Get out your scrubby and elbow grease... THEN with the lotion! You're welcome.

You should know my bitterness stems from the fact that your arms aren't covered with long wool sleeves... like mine.

And those pants TOTALLY make your butt look like MaryKate's!

Becca said...

Hey I am wearing black pants today, and my butt is big, but I am not telling the size of my undies...ok size 3! Heehee! Too early for wine, but not sure for how much longer...snowing again, 4th snow day in a row, one left until Christmas break, wonder how many parents are going Merry Freaking Christmas!

Kat said...

Missy, I just discovered the scrapbook software this past weekend I SWEAR.

I also swear that we are not Ricky and Lucy and have never slept in a bed together unless it was king size. Hell, we haven't even made it through the last two nights. I have been very artful in kicking and moving just enough to drive him to the couch.

Vodka Mom said...

yeah, I'll take a glass.

Paige said...

you know what else is not cute? wearing jeans that now fit well from losing a few pounds, even though the damn zipper wont stay up

not cute

Erin said...

I'm contacting Promises...they helped Brittny and they can help you too. Walk away from the wine and stay away from the electric razors.

Kelly said...

Wow, I had no idea about the dandruff. Now I'm going to be paranoid wearing black pants, but I'll pile on the lotion beforehand.

Jane! said...

Junie, 'in your face' would have been mentioning the Christmas tree I carved up and assembled into 7 wreaths for the neighbors.... AND the centerpiece.
But I'm not like that.

Also - you assume that something I knitted would be a GOOD thing.