Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Running out of time, as usual

I'm trying to get back here to update all the goin's on of the Cleaver household. Just as I was about to catch my breath, and tap a fresh box of wine, I heard a newscaster say, "Only 15 days of shopping left." What the hay-ell, (as my southern friends say)??? Is it already December? Oh jeez louise. (Ok, I said something a little stronger than that, but Santa doesn't visit a potty mouth, now does he....)

So Tracie, I am not in the padded cell......yet. I am however trying to figure out which one of you was responsible for reminding me to put a little away each month, this year, for a Christmas fund. Because whoever it was, dropped the ball. There's zilch in the Christmas fund. So....here's what I need. I need for one of you to buy a house from me. Nothing big. Just about $75,000. And I need for it to be a cash sale, so it can close quick. We don't have time for appraisals and loans and shit to hit the fan, ok? Don't everyone raise their hand at once. I know at least one of you people has to be rich. Right? Oh, and I almost forgot, as a token of my appreciation for you helping me out, and making Wally and Beaver's Christmas, I'm willing to call you my new BFF. Hmm? So, who wants to be June Cleaver's new BFF? You know, sorta like Paris Hilton's New BFF, only I've never made a sex tape. And I weigh a little more than she does. But still, come on "June's BFF" - you know you want that title. You know you do. You can put it on your blog. I'll even make a little button for you. Oh, or even better yet, I can make you a t-shirt that is says it. Hmm?

I can only give you until 5pm - mountain standard time, of course - to respond. After that, I'll have to check myself in to "Nuts-R-Us". Do they really serve wine at the funny farm?

10 comments:

Jane! said...

You can seriously buy a house for $75k???
I know how you feel, though. Hopefully our kids are old enough to understand that some years are just not as good as others.
How'd that scrapbook turn out?

Lucky said...

The only houses I've ever seen for 75K still had crime scene tape around them...
And come one how about a hint about the scrapbook!

Jeankfl said...

I would sooo love to buy a house from you.. you can just loan me the $75,000, can't you??LOL Hope the wine is good at the nut hatch..

Tracie said...

Well i'm glad you are not in a padded room! How did the scrapbooking go? How much wine did it take?
Wish I could help ya out with the house purchase, but unfortunately I don't have an extra $75,000 laying around. I would let you borrow the credit card, but I think that it's 'purtnere maxed out now! Does that kinda qualify for the BFF title? Offering the maxed credit card?

Jenn said...

LMAO...I say "hay-ell" all the time. Just today, I said, "Hay-ell No!"

Pat said...

Ok settle down, I know you will come though I don't know how you do it but you do. Speaking of coming through did you get your scrap book finished? Just asking.
From you southern friend, Have a good evening alllllllll. Love Ya Pat

Shana said...

$75,000 ??
Are YOU really going to make the t-shirt or would you get someone artsy-fartsy to make the t-shirt? I am just asking

Kat said...

You know, if you would quit making fun of me and MY accent I would be the first to jump right in and buy that $75K house. HELL, I would even go for a $100 grand house just to help you out, but NO, you have to be mean to me and make fun of me all the time... So there!

PLO said...

UH, I only have some stocking stuffers purchased. I am doomed. If I buy a house for $75K...is that really possible?...where do I have to live?

Vodka Mom said...

hay-ell?? That's my NEW favorite saying. That, and sweet baby jesus...........


now, where's that drink? waitress???