Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Grating on my last nerve

Dear co-worker,

It is not necessary for you to laugh that loud. Repeatedly. Sounds more like cackling than laughing. If I can hear you - all the way up here - in the front office, you're being too loud. Seriously. We all know your happy. Good for you. But somehow, that laugh? Doesn't seem so happy.



Dear Blogger,

I know you love that music. Me? Not so much. And since some of us pass the day at work by blogwalking (only occasionally, of course, (if my boss is reading this)) I would appreciate it if you would let me select whether the song plays. Ok? Nothing like trying to look like you're working and all of a sudden "Rumpshaker" starts blaring.

Thanks a bunch love,


Dear Ward,

Remember me? The one that has stood by your side for 20 years now? All the while you were making your way to that top? If you tell me "I gotta go" one more time, while I'm in the middle of trying to explain my latest crisis to you, I might think you don't appreciate me. And you do appreciate me, don't you? You appreciate those nice warm meals every night and those clean socks and underwear every morning, don't you? Well then, let me finish my sentence! Please......

Forever yours,


Dear Children,

I know you can drive yourselves everywhere now and you don't really need your mother any more. Except for meals. And well, actually you haven't been eating much of those at home lately either. I know you are extremely busy, what with each of sending over 4,000 texts (no joke!) in a month. But every once in awhile, throw your Momma a bone, and just for the hell of it, let her know when you won't be home for dinner. Moms tend to get a little grouchy when they work all day, stop by the store for food and whip up a 3 course meal for 4 - only to find out it'll only be two of us dining tonight. Ok boys?

Love you more than life,


PS Beaver, if you leave your wet towel on the floor, in front of the dryer again, I'm gonna have to end your life. I realize your Dad leaves his underwear on the floor outside of the shower but you don't want to turn out like your dad, do you? Because someday you might get married. And your hormonal wife, that you just hung up on, might kill you. Just a little heads up Beav.

Dear on-line banking,

Please warn me when I sign on that you are extremely low and I probably don't want to look at the balance. Would ya? Just a little pop-up that says "Hide the debit cards June and don't spend anymore until payday" K? Would ya do that for me? It's really not good for me to use the MF word at work. OUT.LOUD. Ok?

Thanks so much!



Tracie said...

Well Said!

Jenn said...

It's good to get it all out, no?

Kat said...

I think you forgot one -

Dear Lord, Please grant me the peace and serenity to not kill all these mother f'ers today.

Yours truly, June

Becca said...

Wow, do you feel better now? ;-)

Lucky Wife/Bookaholic said...

I liked that... lol.