Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Conspiracy theory

 

Here's the conversation I imagine my boys must have had.....

 

Wally:  Hey Beav, you know how Mom is starting to lose her mind and all that.  You know, on account of how I'm headed off to college and all...

 

Beav: Yeah, Wally?  Why do you have to go and do a thing like that?  You know Mom isn't too stable as it is.  Why didn't you just stay home and get your basics here?  Or work at McDonald's or somethin'? Huh, Wally?

 

Wally:  Beav, I've got a plan. 

 

Beav:  Really?

 

Wally:  Yeah, how about you go out for for football this year.  Mom will be so freaked out about that, she probably won't notice that I'm even gone.....

 

Beav:  Well, but Wally, last time I played....well, they broke my arm.  Remember?

 

Wally:  Beav, you gonna be the baby your whole life? 

 

Beav:  Ok, Wally.  I'll do it....

 

 

Cut to last night, when Beaver brings his helmet home and Wally walks in with the totes he needs to pack his stuff for college.  See June?  That's her right there.  Headed to Hellmart for more wine.  Little stock tip - I'd suggest y'all buy some shares of Franzia, because their profits are sure to increase this year!  You can thank me later.  But for now.....I need you.  I really need you!  (Jane!Dammit, this is no time for you to go AWOL - or any of the rest of you for that matter!)

7 comments:

giggles said...

once you get used to them being gone and get used to the peace and quiet you will LOVE it. Its the getting used to it that might take ya down.
Breathe...and drink
Giggles :0)

Jenn said...

Take a deep breath. You've done your job--now, let them do theirs. ;-) And Franzia? Really? Straight from the box, are we, now? ;-)

Jane! said...

Ah, Chica, that's so sweet!
But I think you just need to focus on some positives.
Mainly that you live in a state that allows Walmart to sell wine.
But also that you get to do another football scrapbook!
Yay, let's hear it for drunkin' croppin'!

Kat said...

Just think of all the free time you will have to make that scrapbook with only one of them at home to bug you!

Take a deep breath you will be fine. Trust me by Christmas break you will be BEGGING him to go back to school. Trust ME!

Tracie said...

breath, drink, repeat! it will all be okay!

Becca said...

You are a great mom!

I know that this is an adjustment time for you. I wish that I could say that I had or would have some experience with this, but alas, that isn't happening here.

But you will get through this and love having time with your youngest and being able to give your oldest the wings he needs to start to find his own path in life.

And hey if a little wine helps, all the more betterer, right?

Bev said...

I wish I was there. I'd bring you lots of Franzia....and help you drink it! Both Wally and Beav are gonna be better than okay. I know you have done a great job as a Mom. Time will bear that out.

Hang in there my friend. Hugs!

P.S. You oughta be thrilled that you pulled Jane out of her AWOL status!!