So........well......Saturday is THE day. The day I turn the big, freakin' four oh! As in 40! I keep feeling like I should be evaluating my life. Reflecting on it. Something..... You know, come up with some sort of blog about what I've learned over my 40 years of life. Something deep. Meaningful. But......I've done nothing. Except for schedule a hair appointment. I mean, if I have to act all "Crap, I hate this turning 40 stuff" - I might as well be able to bitch about how crappy my hair looks. Which is what I always do after I get it done! Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get my hair done on the BIG day! I mean what if Ward actually does remember my birthday and throws me this big ole surprise party. Only my hair is all jacked up and then I start crying when I walk in and everyone thinks it's because I'm so surprised and shocked, but really it's the hair? What then? I can't sit there and enjoy my surprise 40th birthday now, can I? I'll be all, "Why the hell did I get my hair cut today? Of all days....when will I learn?" Obviously, it's going to take me longer than 40 years to learn that you never, ever get your hair cut when something big is about to happen! But is 40 really such a big deal? I mean really. Think about it. Is it? HELLYA it is! And I for one am not showing up for my birthday - party or not - with this 'do.
Ok seriously, there will be no party. I am COMPLETELY ok and with that. The difference between 30 and 40? I WASN'T ok with no party at 30. I was just sure Ward was going to have a surprise party for me. Just like I had done two years earlier for him. I completely caught him off guard. It was the surprise party to end all surprise parties. So.....when my birthday came around - MY 30TH BIRTHDAY - no less, I just knew he was going to surprise me. I got dressed that day. Nothing was said. I just kept thinking, "Boy is he ever good at this." 6 pm came. Nothing. 7, we're still sitting there watching TV. I think maybe I'll go apply some lip gloss, you know, for when everyone shows up. 8pm - Nothing. 8:30 he turns to me with this look on his face. "I completely forgot your birthday!" Still, I'm thinking, "Wow, he's really playing the part." Another 1/2 hour later, I figure out he wasn't kidding. There was no surprise party. And I was pissed. It's been good ammunition over the years. We laugh now. I still pull it out every once in awhile. You know. When he's rubbing it in that I've forgotten something. "Yeah? Well I never forgot my wife's 30th birthday!" That usually shuts him up.
I haven't done so much in the way of reflecting. But, I do keep wondering when in the hell I'm going to get my shit together? Because let's face it, if you don't have it together by 40, chances are.......it ain't gonna happen. Great! I'm gonna be this emotional, touch 'o lush, drama queen teetering on the edge of insanity for the next half of my life, too? Wow.....
I'll take that glass of wine now!