Thursday, July 30, 2009

Oh how lovely to be approaching 40

I sneezed today and wet my pants! What's next? Hot flashes?

Somebody please pass the wine......

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Grating on my last nerve

Dear co-worker,

It is not necessary for you to laugh that loud. Repeatedly. Sounds more like cackling than laughing. If I can hear you - all the way up here - in the front office, you're being too loud. Seriously. We all know your happy. Good for you. But somehow, that laugh? Doesn't seem so happy.

Hugs,

June

Dear Blogger,

I know you love that music. Me? Not so much. And since some of us pass the day at work by blogwalking (only occasionally, of course, (if my boss is reading this)) I would appreciate it if you would let me select whether the song plays. Ok? Nothing like trying to look like you're working and all of a sudden "Rumpshaker" starts blaring.

Thanks a bunch love,

June

Dear Ward,

Remember me? The one that has stood by your side for 20 years now? All the while you were making your way to that top? If you tell me "I gotta go" one more time, while I'm in the middle of trying to explain my latest crisis to you, I might think you don't appreciate me. And you do appreciate me, don't you? You appreciate those nice warm meals every night and those clean socks and underwear every morning, don't you? Well then, let me finish my sentence! Please......

Forever yours,

June

Dear Children,

I know you can drive yourselves everywhere now and you don't really need your mother any more. Except for meals. And well, actually you haven't been eating much of those at home lately either. I know you are extremely busy, what with each of sending over 4,000 texts (no joke!) in a month. But every once in awhile, throw your Momma a bone, and just for the hell of it, let her know when you won't be home for dinner. Moms tend to get a little grouchy when they work all day, stop by the store for food and whip up a 3 course meal for 4 - only to find out it'll only be two of us dining tonight. Ok boys?

Love you more than life,

Mom

PS Beaver, if you leave your wet towel on the floor, in front of the dryer again, I'm gonna have to end your life. I realize your Dad leaves his underwear on the floor outside of the shower every.single.day but you don't want to turn out like your dad, do you? Because someday you might get married. And your hormonal wife, that you just hung up on, might kill you. Just a little heads up Beav.

Dear on-line banking,

Please warn me when I sign on that you are extremely low and I probably don't want to look at the balance. Would ya? Just a little pop-up that says "Hide the debit cards June and don't spend anymore until payday" K? Would ya do that for me? It's really not good for me to use the MF word at work. OUT.LOUD. Ok?

Thanks so much!

June

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Fill in the blanks.....

 

I have so much to tell you and so little time to say it......so, I'm writing what I can and letting you fill in the blanks.

 

Beaver passed his driving test.  June has _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________!

 

The lovely ladies at the DMV would not accept the driving log that June, um, sorta "created".  Ward had to transfer the log on to the one the "nice" lady at the DMV gave him.

 

Ward was ___________________ and now he finally believes June when she says the people at the DMV are ________________.

 

Since Beaver has passed his driving test and there is less than a month left before Wally leaves for college, June is ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________!

 

Blankety, blankety, blankety, blankety, blankety, blank, blank, blank!!! 

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The cycle is broken

 

A night in the Cleaver household.......

 

11:30 pm last night- I am making up preparing Beaver's 50 hour driving log - for his driving test at 8 am this morning.  Nothing like waiting til the last minute.  In my defense - because I always have a defense - maintaining the driving log falls on the person responsible for keeping track of the birth certificates, first lost tooth, blurry picture of first steps and the 5th grade Presidential award - which would be ME.  And at the present time, I don't know where any of those things are.  So.....that's why, if you had been in my kitchen last night, amongst the fondant and frosting splattered everywhere, you would have found Beaver's Mom remembering Beaver had to have his 50 hour driving log ready in 8 1/2 hours!

 

In comes Wally with a set of dishes, a washpan and silverware.  I really can't take this right now.  Not at this moment.

 

Me:  "Wally, whatya doin with all that stuff?  College isn't for another month."

 

Wally: "Yeah Ma, but I figure if I get a little bit here and there it will be easier and I won't be rushing at the last minute to get everything."

 

I think at that moment, the clouds opened and the angels sang!  Hallelujah!  The procrastination cycle that has woven itself through at least 5 generations of my family has been broken.  My job is done.  They can take me away now.  I'm ready for the white coat and the rubber room and someone to cook for me........

 

And then I cried.  And cried.  And cried.  Because my babies are growing up. Wally leaves in less than a month for college.  Beaver, if he passes his driving test this morning, will be allowed to drive by himself - WITHOUT ME! 

 

Some one pass me some wine please!

 

 

 

PS Beaver's test was at 8 am.  It's 8:55 now.  Haven't heard from him or Ward.  I'm not panicked.  Really I'm not!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Hello, hello, is this thing on?

Ooops!  Seems I disappeared again and still haven't posted pics from vacay.  BUT, in my defense, KAT, I have been extremely busy!  Ward is so busy being chief, I have to take up the slack.  And then there's the whole Wallysgoingtocollege - (ahhhhhhhhhh that I am in total denial about)!  Oh and there's Facebook.  If you aren't on, I suggest you get on. NOW.  Seriously. You really have no idea what you are missing!  It's much simpler than this whole blog thing.  No less time consuming, but hey - it's a more efficient way to waste time. If that makes any sense! 

Let's play catch up, shall we? 

Cozumel was a blast!  Yours truly actually ziplined and parasailed.  Mmm hmmm!  I was trying to flip my husband off after he made some comment about my sexy attire, but the gloves wouldn't cooperate!

 












That's me in front, screaming, "Oh shit, oh shit!" 





I was screaming for them to bring me down, but they couldn't hear me! 











That's me in the driver seat, next to Wally.  He let me drive back.  He regretted it though.  As soon as we pulled out, I ran straight into a tree!  There is no power steering on those things!!







Here's the guys!













And here's the ladies!











This is the whole crew - minus one.  We had a grandmother that couldn't ride the Xrails.  Beaver is next to me, on the bottom row.  Wally is sitting behind the lady with the long brown hair, and Ward is on the back row, second from the right.

 

Listening to the guide. I didn't hear the part where he said you had to turn the wheel reeeealllly hard!

(Please, no comments about the helmet.  You're just jealous. This, ladies, is sexy!)




Sexy at its' best!  Covered from head to toe in dirt.  I took my white shorts off before we started and even though it doesn't look like it, I did have swimming suit bottoms on under that pink thing!












Walking along the beach to the restaurant. My hair was cute that night.   But Cozumel is humid as all heck and by the time this picture was taken, it was just a frizzy mess!












Our "hotel room".  They were 4-plex huts.  Pretty cute!











Wally (in red) and his buds. 










 Time to go home.  Our last flight was delayed.  The boys crashed out on the floor.  I realize that an airport floor probably isn't the most hygienic place for these boys to lay down, but they're 18 - and headed off to college - and I'm sure they'll come into contact with things that are even more unhygienic.  Just trying to build up their immune systems before we send them off...........

So there you have it.  There's a picture of me linedancing - yes me, Ms. Uncoordinated herself.  Turns out you'll try anything after a few too many Dos Equis......I'm not going to post that pic though.  The helmet pics are embarrassing enough.

Now get off my back Kat......kiss, kiss, love ya woman!